Session 1 - Why Doesn’t Love Last?

Bible Reference: Proverbs 5:15-23

The focus of this session revolves around these following two questions:

How do you think love happens?

What we believe about love is probably the beginning place in all of this. If we believe wrong things (even if those wrong concepts are wrapped up in our culture’s most popular packages), then those false beliefs will eventually collide with reality, and that family will have a crisis.

Couples in crisis have a choice. They can either believe something is fatally flawed in one or both of them and that the marriage is a mistake, or they can come to the conclusion that what they believe about love is wrong and choose to change what they believe in order to save the relationship. This session is intended to expose at least two of these wrong beliefs. (The next session is intended to show a better way.)

Are you mature enough to actually love someone?

People who do not possess these traits normally believe that somehow a relationship will magically provide wholeness to their life, and while they do not recognize it, the thing missing is one or more of these essential elements. They tend to be willing to trade love for whatever ails them. This crutch relationship is often disguised and is difficult to spot, but the results are always the same. When another person is unable to provide what their own life lacks, they often blame their partner and become disillusioned and begin to spiral into a deep, dark hole of depression, addictions, etc. Can someone become mature while in a relationship? Absolutely! But, they must recognize the problem for what it is and deal with it. While the terms mature and immature may sound a bit harsh to us, far more blunt are the biblical words normally used—wise and foolish (see the book of Proverbs). A fool will never do well in any relationship. Often the marriage is blamed when, in fact, it is not a marriage problem at all, it is simply time for the fool (or fools) to grow up!

There are many good and very likable people who are still far too immature to really love another person. In this session we do not define the immature as an age group, but identify them as individuals who lack one or more of the three key ingredients of personal maturity:

  • A strong unshakable morality
  • Personal contentment and peace within themselves
  • The ability to generate their own joy and happiness